We have been married for 4 years. Theyve both got insomnia, so theyre up all night and keep off hours. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. He claims to be reformed, my wife told me, but how can you ever be sure, especially as the guy's a convicted rapist and ex-Hell's Angel's member. The good news is that if she is speaking to you about him openly and not trying to cover it up. same thing I thought when my wife was defending a guy she was boning. My wife has a new male single friend and I'm concerned - Relationship Advice - eNotAlone Home My wife has a new male single friend and I'm concerned My wife has a new male single friend and I'm concerned By Tom961 August 28, 2022 in Relationship Advice Followers 2 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Tom961 Members 1 Posted August 28, 2022 Hi everyone, They joke and talk all day long over text and voice chat. We spend the rest of the day side by side, noses to laptops tapping away at our respective keyboards. Posted January 2, 2011 If not for their kids' sake, do it for the health of their marriages. In fact, it can even enhance it by offering new perspectives and experiences. The husband is on the outside looking inward. He may tell you that he loves her or wants to be with her. In conclusion, it is normal to feel threatened by your wifes male friends. Recently she made a new male friend at work. I am OK with her having a male friends however I am unsure of boundaries I have seen many people bring up. We start talking and I quickly realize we have very little in common, John doesn't seem like the kind of guy that I normally hang out withno biggie, the night moves on, conversations rotate, people move on with their lives and everyone has fun. WHAT? If your spouse is feeling threatened by your friendships, it may be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed. Am I right in thinking that there's a chance that guys like him may go back to their old ways if no-one's watching them? If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. You love her and you are willing to work through these problems, but she needs to participate 100% or you and her are just wasting your time. He may get angry when you talk to other women or try to keep you away from them. Is your impression correct? Explain how you feel and why you think it would be best to limit their interactions. A woman shouldn't lie about when she's spending time with her best friend. A: Your wife has a new best friend and it isn't you. Lastly, if you think your wife is in the friend-zone with a male friend, then you should talk to her about your concerns. I have been kicked off of her facebook after an argument. Associated Press. What Does Authenticity Look Like in Romantic Relationships? There are proven ways to disarm the hidden triggers that cause fighting. When you first started dating your wife, everything was new and exciting. I didn't want to believe or accept what was right in front of me either. Your wife may not be aware of how her actions are making you feel, and she may be willing to make some changes to help improve your relationship. There have been so many hits on this post this year and so many comments, that I don't feel I can give the required attention to. Watch for changes in her desire for sex. Expose WW's affair to her parents and her siblings. You need to tell her that her continued contact with her "friend" is disprespectful to you and your marriage. I check find-a-friend app (which wife and I use when we dont feel like sending "where are you" or when she sends the daily "why haven't you left work yet" texts). John drinksa lotquantities of American Light Lager (barf) that will surely loosen the strongest of colons. "Yea, like five minutes" {walks away again}, "Ok, honestly, I stalked app'ed you {our name for the app} when I didn't hear from you and saw you nearby right after 1. She is defending him so much that she'd even slap you for it. Meg Meeker, M.D., is a pediatrician and the author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know and Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids. He may offer to help her with things or be there for her when she needs him. If a married man finds himself developing romantic feelings for a female friend, its important to address these emotions and communicate with his spouse. Of courseas long as there's no deception. I don't think she's having an affair with the guy, there is nothing going on in her life to suggest that. If shes not willing to compromise, then youll need to decide if youre comfortable with the situation as it is or if youd like to try and work on things together. Her dad is a surgeon and a very charismatic person, and naturally we both wanted to "be like him" when we grew up. Be Wealthy. Fun, freedom, safety, and great shared stories. She talks to her female friends in the house, but this male friend, only out in the car. Me and my wife have been married for 6 years and together for 8. I don't think she's having an affair with the guy, there is nothing going on in her life to suggest that. This can be a difficult situation to navigate, as it can be tough to figure out how to deal with the feelings that may be developing. 4. If you notice this happening, its important to talk to your wife and best friend to see whats going on. While theres no set answer, its entirely possible to maintain a purely platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Faith Is Not Religion- The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers, Faith in the Small Stuff- Part 2- The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers, The First Way to Make the Friendship Habit Stick, When Your New Love Sparks Conflicts With Adult Children, What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like, Four Truths When You Fall in Love the SecondTime, Lost Love: How We Can Learn From Failed Relationships, Five Important Factors In Liking Yourself, 3 Reasons Why Having Good Friends Uplifts Your Romantic Life. Ive had exs cheat on me in the past, not sure if Im being over sensitive or not. And when this starts to happenbeware. A study done in "Two Plus Two: Couples and their couple friendships" found that women in relationships had an average of two male friends and five female friends. You need to tell your wife that if she puts her hands on you again, you will contact the police and have her arrested. A few weeks ago several of us went bar hopping, wife invited John to come out with the usual crowd which included some of wife's other co-worker guy/gal friends. Should I take this as a sign that I need to put more effort into our marriage? Is He a Mutual Friend? 2nd: Physical assault is unacceptable on any terms. This is about the intensity of the friendship, not about. . She really doesnt want to start resenting me., Hopefully just writing this out will be somewhat cathartic. This doesnt necessarily mean ending the friendship altogether, but rather finding ways to navigate the situation in a way thats respectful to all parties involved. Why wouldn't the two of you as a couple hang out with him? She'd never met him until then. Cookie Notice VDOM DHTML tml>. Any male friends need to speak to her in front of you. Become really good friends. 03:08 - Source: CNN. While its important to trust your gut in these situations, there are some things you can do to ease your mind and make sure your relationship is still on track. He may drop hints about wanting to get married or have children with her. Its a natural phenomenon and shouldnt be frowned upon. If your wifes best friend tries to win her over, it may be a sign that he has feelings for her. Your spouse should always come first, and you should have open and honest communication with them about your friendships. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If you notice this happening, its important to talk to your wife and best friend to see whats going on. first off she's ho-ing and you know it. If your wifes best friend talks about his feelings for her, its a clear sign that he has feelings for her. Archived post. She thinks physical abuse is okay in a relationship of any kind, and you are here asking about her behavior with another guy? Have and inner and outer circle of friends. A new friend, let's call him John (23/m), suddenly appeared in her life. I wouldn't normally tell her who she can and can't see, but this is worrying me a lot, I mean how would she like it if I spent time with a former girl gang member released from prison? To have a successful opposite gender friendship, one must approach it with an open mind and respect the differences between genders. Its key to communicate clearly and frequently to ensure that the friendship remains on track. For more information, please see our And when I told her about their shady activities, she'd defend them. I dont really know where to begin. IMO you deserve better. I'm not normally jealous of her interaction with other men, far from it, I'm usually easygoing, but it's the fact that this guy's a notorious convicted rapist and also a Hell's Angel member(in our area), who's 25 years old, that worries me. especially as the guy's a convicted rapist and ex-Hell's Angel's member. Discussion in ' Family, Friends, and Relationships ' started by Ron961, Aug 26, 2022 . I tell her that I don't like John, I don't know John, and I find it completely inappropriate that she's "sitting in the car talking in front of his house for an hour." If thats the case, theres not much I can do about it except try to talk to my wife about it and see if she feels the same way. Its important to remember that your friendships should never cross any physical or emotional boundaries that could harm your marriage. Our marriage has been quite smooth, we dont argue a lot and get along just fine. If She thinks 'somehow' talking with Him will help with Your "recent problems", He should be invited to talk and be friends with . This means finding a babysitter, booking a hotel room, and doing whatever it takes to make sure your children are taken care of for the evening. 2) Spend whatever free time with him > no good. Im not the jealous type, but lately, Ive been getting a little uneasy about the amount of time my wife has been spending with her male friend. While it is understandable that you may feel threatened by your wifes relationship with her male friend, it is important to remember that your wife is an independent person and she has the right to choose her own friends. SURE IS! She told me there's nothing going on, they're just friends, but would you consider it an inappropriate friendship for a married woman to have? She is very enthusiastic about him and seems to want to make plans to hang out. Its also important to consider the dynamics of each individual friendship. That's enough to make a spouse uncomfortable, no matter the friend's gender. I was sickskipped a bar nightwife drove new friend home and spent almost an hour sitting in the car in front of his house talking. Archived post. I don't really know where to begin. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. Opposite Sex Friendships: 3 Scenarios and What to Do, I Would Love to Meet You in Person: Building Genuine Connections Through Face-to-Face Interaction, Why Would Someone Pretend To Like You The Definitive Guide, Why Am I So Uncomfortable Opening Up Resources To Help You, A Word For Making Someone Feel Guilty Quick And Easy, If A Girl Finds Excuses To Talk To You Ultimate, What Do You Say When Someone Asks, Do You Really Love Me?, When a Guy Is Self Conscious Around You: Understanding and Responding to the Signs, Am I Losing Feelings or Am I Depressed? She shares everything with him. We exchange pleasantries, I supply coffee and offer advil (non-needed). A few days later he FaceTimes her to get a ride to a work related event. This site uses cookies. Recognizing that men and women might have different communication styles and preferences is essential. You tell her to knock that crap off or you are gone!!!! One of the rules in marriage is that no woman goes out with another guy unless you are present. Good, great, grand. I'm not going to say that the other posters are wrong, but my experience has been different, so I can understand your concerns. she's taunting you to slap her back then she'll run like a little baby to the angels,then the fun will begin at your expense(bodily harm). However, others argue that these friendships can be just as valuable and cherished as same-sex friendships. This will help you to feel close to your wife and remind you of the good times youve had together. If both partners are able to maintain these qualities, then having close friendships with people of the opposite gender shouldnt be a threat to the relationship. While some may feel wary about their partner having close friendships with individuals of the opposite sex, its crucial to trust our loved ones and support their platonic relationships. This is my first introduction to John. Its also important for individuals to consider the perspective of their spouse and how their actions may be perceived. Saturday morning - I'm up before she is and re-thinking the 1am - 2am events. What do you do when your wife has a male friend who just wont leave her alone? My spouse, regardless of gender, makes me laugh, is kind to others, is politically active, shares the same political opinions as me, and has the same geeky loves as I do, including, but certainly . She will never meet him. Copyright 1997-2023 LoveShack.org. If youre feeling jealous or uncomfortable about your wifes male friend, talk to her about it. This is because he wants to know about your likes and dislikes. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. We will also discuss the concept of the friend zone and whether or not it exists. Are Male Friends A Threat To Your Marriage? But let's look at a few things here. damn man, are you blind? His "friendship" was more important than our family. Worse still, the fact she feels comfortable taking such liberties with you suggests you've been tolerating all sorts of infantile bull**** for years. If your wife is texting her male friend on a daily basis, it might be something that you want to talk to her about. awesome. peace. Open communication, trust, and mutual respect are essential components of a healthy marriage. "It didn't take an hour" "Well, you got home at 2" "Oh, yea I guess it took an hour then" {She takes coffee and walks away to check her emailI didn't realize conversation was over}, "So seriously, why'd it take you an hour?" Is there such a thing as the friend-zone? And on top of this she slaps you. "Oh, I drove John home, he was too drunk to drive." She married you and chose you. Its not always easy to tell when someone has feelings for your wife, but there are some signs you can look out for. How I view this is let her be, you both are in a marriage which bounds you both to rules if you will. I've tried talking with my wife, but she accuses me of being jealous, and physically slapped me in the face. IF this thread is real, then how did she meet this guy? NOTHING HAPPENED! johnyorks81, October 19, 2009 in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy. Give emotionally intimate heterosexual couples enough time and physical intimacy follows. 20/05/2020 00:20 Wife has two very old male friendships which i thought were harmless at first. In fact, it can even enhance it by offering new perspectives and experiences. i have experience in this area. The ugly truth. "He's cool as shit to talk to". But if it does, its possible that my wifes male friend is putting her there. He is also married and has children and he also has had trouble with fertility (again more in common). Reddit, Inc. 2023. How Should I Deal With If My Wife Has A Male Friend Who Keeps Calling? If so, is my wifes male friend putting her there? If you notice this happening, its important to have a talk with your wife and best friend to see whats going on. Explain how you feel and why you think it would be best to limit their interactions. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Privacy Policy. A Wife should not be saying anything to another Man that She would not say in the presence of Her Husband. But for the sake of your integrity and manhood (for lack of a better word at the moment), I suggest taking the stand. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. After voicing my extreme displeasure, she secretly revealed displeasure to new friend and spends the rest of the weekend texting with him behind my back. After all, contrived fantasies . Some may feel uncomfortable with their spouse having close friendships with members of the opposite sex, while others may be more open-minded. Wife has a new male friend So my wife has a new male friend. They're friends again. No matter what, try to stay calm and remember that your wife is probably not intentionally trying to hurt you. Everyone of you were right. She doesn't hide her chats, talks to him while I'm in the room etc. Married mothers shouldn't have men as their best friends and vice versa. Another sign that your wifes best friend has feelings for her is if he starts talking about her more often. She goes to bedI'm fuming. We have been trying for another child but unfortunately are having issues with that process due to health factors. LOL. He works a later shift and generally arrives to work as she's finishing up her day. Your email address will not be published. If your wife has a close male friend, its only natural to wonder if they have feelings for each other. Demand that she cut off all contact. can you trust her again? Nice guy. An Australian physical education teacher who murdered his wife so he could start a new life with a teenage student has been found guilty of sexual abuse. Actually if he did slap her back, it would have been self defense. hes the last person she talks to before going to bed and the first person she talks to when getting up. Having male friends as a married woman is perfectly normal and healthy. C. her activity level with him increased as you two had issues. Instead of forbidding your wife from seeing her male friend, try to talk to her about your concerns and see if you can reach a compromise. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Don't take that crap. Or does she go out with him and hang out with him alone? He doesnt know Im sitting right next to her and literally starts talking to her in a baby voice. Despite the fact that opposite-sex friends have become more common in the past several decades, it's a situation recent research shows most people view with. By Because, at a minimum, she has some very inappropriate feelings towards this guy. Can I Forbid My Wife To Meet Her Male Friends? Now, I'm not normally a jealous personbut seriouswhy did it take her an hour to travel what would take 20 minuteswith heavy traffic. For a while now I have been getting the impression that my wife is content living with me and I understand when you have been living with the same person for a long time it can get boring in a sense. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. If you notice this happening, its important to talk to your wife and best friend to see whats going on. I can understand your fears and can relate to them. B.sounds like an emotional affair to me. If this post is legitimate then you need to see an attorney about an annulment. While these feelings are understandable, its important to approach the situation with an open mind and to trust in the communication and commitment within the marriage. Questions? buddy, if she spends whatever free time with him, what's left to spend with you? Wife spends a lot of time with new male "friend"-do I have a right to be suspicious. She tells him all day about how I'm pissed that they talked and he shouldn't take the blame it's her fault and she enjoys talking to him. The group thins as the evening progresses and John, who now needs a babysitter, stops being fun. If shes been with you for a long time, then she knows how to make you happy. one way or another, you need answers. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. damn near every woman was the same. Someone who is concerned about their spouse acting secretive about someone new is not acting insecure at all. One way to combat jealousy is to spend more time with your wife. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. iMessage.with John. When a woman shares intimate feelings with a man who isn't her husband, a wedge forms between her and her husband. She is messaging him almost all day every day (except when she is doing something with me) and last weekend she also met him outside of work for a walk when I wasn't at home because she felt very stressed about work and wanted to just go for a walk (he lives very close to us). Reddit, Inc. 2023. 1. if my xwife slapped me when all of our bs was going on, I'd have called the cops and had her arrested:) probably the only thing that would have helped me with custody. He may try to put a wedge between you and your wife or make himself look better than you in front of her. I want to talk this out with her, but am cautious that it might make me look weak and insecure. All Rights Reserved. Warning: If nothing you do makes her happy, it's a sign she may be trying to find fault with you to justify her cheating. Being gay means he's not interested in women as sexual partners. How can I get her to see that she's risking her safety being with this guy? Friendship: When No Response Is a Response, The Nature of Language: Mishearing and Miscommunication. Many married women (and married men) insist that having a best friend of the opposite sex is perfectly healthy.
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