I said, "I'm sorry to hear about it. I will do it if you are in a pinch for someone. Thats bleak. and in a few short weeks this person has (falsely) accused other directors of bullying and threats, has outright lied about what has been said in meetings, does not respond to any of the other directors emails unless the ED is ccd on the email, and refused to attend important meetings until and unless the ED issues a direct order for them to attend. I see EDs do this often just so they can avoid dealing with or confronting the issue. You dont want Liar McLiarface to be the only one telling the story. Stick around until April, maybe make sure you have something else lined up, but keep witnesses in meetings with this person, make sure to protect yourself. This puts you on notice that you are being recorded. Then, start the recording and as the recording is running, repeat. So I have a few questions: 1. Fully back the ED and do something crazy destructive like fire every director involved. The sad thing is, its not even uncommon stuff! Especially right now, with the US insurance markets being so weird the costs seem to be all over the place. Instead, the ED has decided that rather than support the mission, he wants you to focus on an internal person. Their logic is that if a candidate finds out how hard they will work . Is the ED close to retirement age? Thats a good point that the ED is just going to be annoyed at everyone eventually anyway if we refuse to make it work (i.e. I saw the Miscellaneous Account was the second biggest account on the books. How Does It Impact You And Those Around You? I think that this actually proves that going to the Board is probably a GOOD idea. (If they are getting involved in staffing decisions other than ED and a few other directors, then theyre a micromanaging board that probably has a lot of other problems, too.) But considering it didnt require hours of overtime or employees staying late into the night, it proved thatit was something the team was capable of all alongthey just needed that push. ;o). Power hungry is def a possibility. Ive sat on a couple of non-profit boards, and weve used this process for employees who reported to the ED, so we could see what they have to say about their experience. And likely paid more. He seems lazy first and foremost. Wont make an impact this year but over time, we build a paper trail of what our ED is/not capable of and if thats for the good of our organization. Works against the company's best interests by slacking off on their job, misusing funds or other resources, or trying to keep their manager in the dark about important issues. The difference is that their life has become a lie. For me, having a manager who lied wasnt so much an issue of figuring out how to make him or her stop. Its a small fraction of non-profits. As it was, the director didnt tell us what was going on until after choosing to leave the organization. So for us to do that would mean incurring their wrath which is fine with some of us who have a foot out the door, but for the ones who want to stay they have to think about what that means for their long-term work environment. Wow, that last sentence really hit home for me. Thank you. Thats exactly what Im wondering. The bees in the office are overseen by wasps and hornets in the board. 1. Once you have proven you are doing your job, your manager no longer has something to fix about you. This is such a beautiful, true statement. Learning shouldn't be thought of as a break but as an essential part of any career. Stick it out. Things arent 100% fixed, but were at about 75% after two years (and still working on it). Im not in the nonprofit world so I hadnt thought about that until OP and paul mentioned it. I think it stands out for NPOs because we like to think of them having a higher standard. the better. tell all of them at once so no one can tip off ED or Lying Director. Keep close track of decisions made at meetings when you are in the presence of toxic director creating meeting minutes with summaries of actions and decisions. (Unless the ED and board are both so terrible that the sort of silent threat of losing all of the directors at once means nothing to them). (Im assuming there is a Board since its a non-profit). The second manager wanted her company toappearsuccessful. Even the most fortunate among us is likely struggling in some way. I just found out that a director who I thought was going to try to fight it out is updating their resume. When their life becomes a lie, their lying is different. Related: Making Time for Learning When No One Has Time. Yes. He may even be coaching this guy to act this way. Now we have a new director of Bad Department a friend of the previous Bad Director! Thats the conclusion that Ive been trying not to come to. Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. But to get through that, finally be rid of the dead weight after years of putting it off and then pick his buddy who has all the same problems?? 2. If not, then ED probably thinks theyre in a totally prime position and wont move unless theyre totally forced to like 99% of their directors leaving them. Getting started with real estate investment might be easier than you think. Just get to April, get to that conference, and get another job. I am very curious about the context. Dont leave without them having a polite earful. Start a new nonprofit that does the same exact thing and take everyone with you except the turds. If thats the case, why does LD get to go to the board about their grievances? Turnover was through the roof, staff members much beloved by the board left en masse, board fully aware of all dynamics but never took action. When is reality he is quite the fraud with limited experience that he is trying to hide by proposing work above the current managers skill level (even if it is above his own). The article pretty much describes both the past 15 years with Boyfriend and the three years I was at Worlds Most Recognized Software Company. Lots of crazy things happened, the ED sat idly by and/or defended Bad Director, an outside mediator got called in, I had drafted my resignation letter and was a week away from submitting it, when the ED finally called a team building meeting with the outside mediator. In short, the feigned deadline made the team work harder toward success. He hired a guy who was friends with the guy who had to resign. And also, Im not sure what kind of mission you have or populations you serve, but are your clients/recipients of your services impacted by this behavior? Thanks for the link, Observer. Yes; time to research and emphasize discretion in your interviews. If the toxic one comes up to you in the hall or other one-on-one venues do not engage unless there is another director present. So OP, if your boss is doing nothing about this, FLEE. All of the energy all of these wonderful people could be used to support that mission. What's the situation? If you need something from the toxic person, go through the director with the ask and the deadlines. Im also wondering if the Board has any idea whats going on. how can I get better at spotting talent in people different than me? Signed, She suggests that rather than "focusing on the judgment, (e.g., 'Becky is such a liar!'), work to get an understanding of the situation.". This can be as simple as asking how someone we admire would respond to the situation, or how a fictional character might react. He replaced us all with his buddies. Letting them know whats happening (especially with others) can help them understand when they need to get more involved. Yeah, its the insurance thing that makes me so hesitant. As a rule of thumb people like this can end up violating important regs and then you got them on something concrete. He knowingly allows new guy to run rickshod all around the place You have nothing to hide, so don't hide yourself. Take it easy. You did the right thing, but Sam frowned to send you the message, "If I want to talk to you about something, your job is to listen.". It was shocking and so disappointing. I can say that from the logical side of my brain. It wont protect you if these people are truly twisted and dysfunctional, but it would put the Board on notice if they arent already. I am sort of hoping several of us leave at once. Any ED that tells their department heads to figure it out how to work together rather than stepping in and actually managing when a department head is so clearly out of line has no business being a director of anything. Some Boards just really arent rational, you have to know what you are dealing with. The most popular lie employees hear is "We can't pay you more.". A new year presents an opportunity to start fresh. I think it is equally likely that the Board will 1. Jeez, thats awful. I wonder if this is the flip of the person who is a pleasant coworker but terrible subordinatethe person who is hell to work with unless youre right above them receiving their odes to your left eyebrow and its incredible business decisions, footnote about how other department are all jealous of your rapport. "Above all, don't lie to yourself. Knowing this, good managers everywhere are feeling pressure to "fix" situations for their teams. Can you give us some suggestions on how you want us to deal with this if you are not going to terminate them?. I think this is helpful advice, but I would also caution that the opposite can also be true. Have there been other orgs sniffing around ED? OP here I literally just found out that Lying Director is already going to certain people on the Board crying about how mean the other directors are to them. What ridiculous, lawless places. :). I dont know. Its 1000% inappropriate for them to go outside of the chain of command UNLESS its to report significant problems that either involve the ED or that the ED wont act upon. 6. Calling out an employee publicly for lying is never a good idea, and is a particularly bad idea when dealing a pathological . People forced out and replaced with someone younger, or older, more experienced candidates passed over for younger, less qualified candidates. Doesn't the ED have anything else to do? If you still had any doubt about whether or not to quit, that makes it crystal clear. The ED had lead me to believe the new manager would be hands off my department & eager for coaching the exact opposite was the case. I would argue that nonprofits do have a higher prevalence of certain issues that even small for profits would. so why do you trust your director at his word when he says its a bad idea to go to the board? Director jobs arent just sitting around waiting for applicants, and if they are, they are highly competitive. except faster, and without falling dramatically to the ground after tripping over every green pebble. Even so, some of what we're dealing with can be tackled with mindset. In the end, no matter how great your boss intentions, or how little the lies impact your work, the truth is that discovering that your manager has lied even once is enough to chip away your trust in him or her. Or the Board is stacked with friends of the ED. Thats business in general. Having worked for some really volatile companies before, I am now in the habit of always having savings so I can run for the hills. If it isnt already. Early in the pandemic, I recall intense frustration over a simple failed cookie recipe. Non-profits need both to succeed. Get it: This is when we connect all of the dots and can begin to assess ways to alleviate our stress. Unfortunately right now I am the only one here who does actually have extensive experience in training in what he keeps trying to volunteer himself for, so I may be waiting awhile. He also wont fire long-term directors who are abusive, bullying, and disruptive, and he dithers about it. Document. Get it." My supervisor "Sam" is nice to me, but I'm not sure I trust him. Is there a Board of Directors you can bring this to? to put a positive spin on the story of your termination, you still need to stick to the truth. Talks about your coworkers behind their backs. Whenever she was quoted in a newspaper article or interview, shed overestimate the number of our employees. But end of April is 2 months. 7. Someone in a mostly functional nonprofit. Deliver with excellence. Unfortunately. But storms were only one factor behind the travel nightmare. At some level Sam must know he is being incredibly unprofessional and unethical by sharing other people's personal issues with you. Unfortunately Sam is also defensive about his bad habit of sharing too much information. She refused to hire me officially & got the ED ( who had months before repeatedly asked me to work FTE for them we were waiting for my old & superior health benefits to run out) to back her. So, not getting the toxic person mad is not really a useful goal here. Im betting he has an image of himself as a beneficent boss and all his directors are whining. Copyright 2023 Entrepreneur Media, LLC All rights reserved. The first boss wanted the team to succeed; to deliver good results ahead of time that would boost the departments reputation and value within the entire company. This was in 2013. Then the ED proceeded to yell/curse at me, and then made veiled threats to suspend me. Perhaps you have PTO that you can use up, OP? If nothing else, it might make you feel like youve done what you could to alert them to whats going on. Shes the only side of the story the board is hearing, and the ED is actively not helping. What's the best job for you? Or at least to say to ED (after you or all of you also go to the board, well Liar McLiarface talked to the board, and we all thought it was important that her perspective wasnt the only one being heard. Its a small organization problem. Your manager may now want to deal with the liar, or may not. Over 1000? Harder to argue with the premise of desired clarity in business. The difference between the two? Ive been considering going back to freelancing for a while anyway, so I can do that while I figure out what to do next. I originally wanted to suggest that you and your fellow directors approach the board as a group right after the conference. I made it months places that I didnt think I could take one more day. Team members can't do good work if they're sick or highly stressed. Good point. But if Lying Director is going to the Board, thats worth reporting to the ED, too. Claw your way up to places with HR departments and actual strategic thinking! I may be a bit cynical, but I feel like if a board is a good board it would probably have started asking pointed questions and wondering WTF was going on before thensurely 14 people didnt just up and quit without there being other things happening first? But I think he may be, and this is total conjecture, doing a little revenge against everyone in the meantime for forcing him to manage.
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